■■ QUOTES
Mal: The Alliance said they were gonna waltz through Serenity Valley and we choked 'em with those words. We've done the impossible and that makes us mighty. Just a little while longer, our angels are gonna be soaring overhead raining fire on those arrogant cod, so you hold!
Mal: We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw. Huh? C'mon.
Wash: Everything looks good from here... Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive.
(as Stegosaurus) We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... "This Land."
(as T-Rex) I think we should call it "your grave!"
(Stegosaurus) Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
(T-Rex) Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!
(Stegosaurus) Oh, no, God! Oh, dear God in heaven!
Mal: Cry, Baby, Cry.
Wash: Make your mother sigh. Engaging the crybaby.
Jayne: Any one you walk away from, right? Long as we got the goods, I call this a win.
Mal: Right. We win.
Jayne: Pain in the ass...
Kaylee: No, it's shiny! I like to meet new people. They've all got stories...
Jayne: Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?
Mal: I don't believe there is a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
Kaylee: I love my captain.
Zoe: I know something ain't right.
Wash: Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail.
Wash: Just a couple of days lying around, you with the bathing. Me with the watching you bathe.
Zoe: If the captain says it's all right...
Wash: What if we just told Mal we needed a few days, 'stead of asking him?
Zoe: He's the captain, Wash.
Wash: Right. I'm just the husband.
Zoe: Look, I'll ask him.
Wash: Don't forget to call him 'sir'. He likes that.
Inara: Sihnon isn't that different from this planet. More crowded, obviously, and I guess more complicated. The great city itself is... pictures can't capture it. It's like an ocean of light.
Young Man: Is that where you studied? To be a Companion?
Inara: I was born there.
Young Man: I can't imagine ever leaving.
Young Man: Experience has been more than -- it was very good. Thank you.
Inara: The time went too quickly.
Young Man: Your clock's probably rigged to speed up and cheat us out of our fun.
Kaylee: I'd sure love to find a brand new compression coil for the steamer.
Mal: And I'd like to be king of all Londinum and wear a shiny hat. Just get us some passengers. Them as can pay, all right?
Kaylee: Compression coil busts, we're drifting...
Mal: Best not bust, then.
Badger: You're late.
Mal: You're lying.
Badger: What did you just say to me?
Mal: You're well aware we landed two hours 'fore we planned to, with all the goods you sent us after intact, ready to roll. So your decision to get tetchy, say we're late, means you're looking to put us on the defensive right up front. Which means something's gone wrong. It didn't go wrong on our end, so why don't we start again with you tellin' us what's up?
Badger: You're later than I'd like.
Mal: Well I am sorry to hear that.
Badger: You were gonna hand over imprinted goods and just let me twist, is that the case?
Mal: We didn't pick the cargo.
Badger: And I didn't flash my ass at the gorram law. There's no deal.
Zoe: That ain't fair.
Badger: Crime and politics, little girl: the situation is always... fluid.
Jayne: Only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay us our wage.
Badger: What were you in the war, that big war you failed to win? You were a Sergeant, yeah? Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds, Balls and Bayonets Brigade. Big tough veteran. Now you got yourself a ship and you're a captain. Only I think you're still a Sergeant, see. Still a soldier, man of honor in a den of thieves. Well this is my gorram den, and I don't like the way you look down on me. I'm above you. Better than. I'm a businessman, see? Roots in the community. You're just a scavenger.
Mal: Well, maybe I'm not a fancy gentleman like you with your... very fine hat... but I do business. We're here for business.
Kaylee: You're gonna come with us.
Book: Excuse me?
Kaylee: You like ships. You don't seem to be looking at the destinations. What you care about is the ships, and mine's the nicest.
Book: She don't look like much.
Kaylee: Well, she'll fool ya'.
Kaylee: So, uh, how come you don't care where you're going?
Book: 'Cause how you get there is the worthier part.
Mal: I'm thinkin' Whitefall, maybe talk to Patience...
Zoe: Sir, we don't want to deal with Patience again.
Mal: Why?
Zoe: She shot you.
Mal: Well, yeah, she did a bit... still --
Zoe: Now we have a boatful of citizens right on top of our... stolen cargo. That's a fun mix.
Mal: Ain't no way in the 'verse they could find that compartment, even-- Even if they were lookin' for it.
Zoe: Why not?
Mal: 'Cause... ?
Zoe: Oh yeah, this is gonna go great.
Mal: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.
Zoe: Shoot 'em?
Mal: Politely.
Mal: Did you send word to Patience?
Wash: Ain't heard back yet. Didn't she shoot you one time?
Mal: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
Mal: Ambassador, this is Shepherd Book.
Inara: I'd have to say this is the first time we've had a preacher on board.
Book: Well, I wasn't expecting to see a state official, either. Ambassador... I'm missing something funny.
Kaylee: Not so funny.
Inara: "Ambassador" is Mal's way of --
Mal: She's a whore, Shepherd.
Kaylee: The term is "Companion".
Mal: Yeah, I always get those mixed up. How's business?
Inara: None of yours.
Mal: She is pretty much our ambassador. There's plenty of planets won't even let you dock without a decent Companion on board. This... this isn't a problem for you, is it, Shepherd?
Book: Well, I... I certainly...
Inara: It's all right. I mostly keep to myself. When I'm not whoring.
Mal: Don't you wanna meet the rest of the bunch?
Inara: Why don't you make sure they want to meet me first?
Book: Captain, you mind if I say grace?
Mal: Only if you say it out loud.
Simon: Yeah. You're pretty young to be a ship's mechanic.
Kaylee: No how. Machines just got workings, and they talk to me.
Book: That's a rare gift.
Kaylee: Oh, not like being a doctor. Helping fix people, that's important.
Jayne: Little Kaylee here just wishes you was a gynecologist.
Jayne: You don't pay me to talk pretty. Just because Kaylee gets lubed-up over some big city dandy --
Mal: Walk away from this table. Right now.
Simon: What do you pay him for?
Mal: What?
Simon: I was just wondering what his job is. On the ship.
Mal: Public relations.
Book: If I'm intruding...
Inara: Not at all. I expected you.
Book: Couldn't really say the same.
Inara: So. Would you like to lecture me the wickedness of my ways?
Book: I brought you some supper, but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire... one has lepers.
Inara: I think I'll pass. I thank you for this.
Book: The Captain said you might like it. I was surprised at his concern.
Inara: For a lowly whore?
Book: It was unjust of him to say that.
Inara: Believe me, I've called him worse. Anyway, I suspect he has more interest in making you uncomfortable than me.
Book: He's not wildly interested in ingratiating himself with anyone, yet he seems very protective of his crew. It's odd.
Inara: Why are you so fascinated by him?
Book: Because he's something of a mystery. Why are you?
Inara: Because so few men are.
Mal: This is not my best day ever.
Simon: I am very smart. I went to the best Medacad in Osiris, top three percent of my class, finished my internship in eight months. "Gifted" is the term. So when I tell you that my little sister makes me look like an idiot child, I want you to understand my full meaning.
River was more than gifted. She... she was a gift. Everything she did, music, math, theoretical physics -- even-even dance -- there was nothing that didn't come as naturally to her as breathing does to us. She could be a real... brat about it, too. I mean, she used to --
There was a... a school... a, uh, a government-sponsored academy, we had never even heard of it but it had the most exciting program, the most challenging. We could have sent her anywhere, we had the money, but she wanted to go. She wanted to learn. She was fourteen.
I... I got a few letters at first, and then I didn't hear for months. Finally I got a letter that made no sense. She-she talked about things that never happened, jokes we never... it was code. It just said... "They're hurting us. Get me out."
Zoe: How did you do it?
Simon: Money. And, and luck. For two years, I couldn't get near her. Then I was contacted by some men, some underground movement. They-they said she was in danger, that-that the government was... playing with her brain. If I funded them they could sneak her out in cryo. Get her to Persephone, and from there, I could take her... wherever.
Inara: Will she be all right?
Simon: I don't know if she'll be all right. I don't know what they did to her, or why. I-I just have to keep her safe.
Wash: Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?
Mal: We don't vote on my ship because my ship is not the rutting town hall!
Book: I'll not sit by while there's killing here.
Jayne: Shepherd's got a mean streak. We'd best walk soft.
Mal: Nimen de bizui! [Everybody shut the hell up!] Way it is is the way it is. We got to deal with what's in front of us.
Inara: Mal, you know those two wouldn't survive a day in Whitefall anyway. You throw them out, I'm leaving too.
Mal: It might be best you do. You ain't a part of this business.
Mal: I'm in a tricky position, I guess you know. Got me a boatload of terribly strange folk making my life a little more interesting than I generally like, chief among them an Alliance mole. Likes to shoot at girls when he's nervous. Now I got to know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So... I've given Jayne here the job of finding out.
Jayne: He was non-specific as to how.
Mal: Now you only gotta scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary...
Jayne: Laurence. No, I'm just gonna cut on ya' 'til you tell me how much they know.
Dobson: They know everything. They know every name, every record -- they know how many nosehairs you've got.
Jayne: Ah, see -- they don't know a damn thing. It's all over your face, I ain't even... Was gonna get me a ear, too. Aren't you an officer of the law? Well, don't they teach you how to withstand interrogation? Can't even tell a damn lie.
Simon: Wait -- I-I don't understand.
Zoe: You've never heard of Reavers?
Simon: Well... campfire stories... Men gone savage on the edge of space, killing, and...
Zoe: They're not stories.
Simon: What happens if they board us?
Zoe: If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing and if we're very very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
Wash: I guess they weren't hungry. Didn't expect to see them here...
Zoe: They're pushing out further every year, too.
Mal: Gettin' awful crowded in my sky.
Kaylee: Hey, Captain.
Mal: Hey... Hey little Kaylee, what's the news?
Kaylee: I'm shiny, Captain. A-okay. And I can't feel much below my belly, though. It's gettin' cold.
Mal: Well, you just gotta rest. Something's gonna break down on this boat real soon. Who else I got to fix it?
Kaylee: Well, don't you worry none. Doc fixed me up pretty. He's nice.
Mal: Don't go working too hard on that crush, xiao mei-mei [little sister]. Doc won't be with us for long.
Kaylee: You're nice, too.
Mal: No, I'm not. I'm a mean old man.
Kaylee: He wasn't gonna let me die. He was just trying to... It's nobody's fault. Okay? Just promise me you'll remember that?
Mal: I'll keep it in mind.
Kaylee: You are a nice man, Captain. You always looking after us. You just gotta have faith in people.
Inara: Kaylee's very dear. To all of us.
Simon: I... I'm sorry. For my part in what happened. See... I've never... I mean, I don't know how to --
Inara: You're lost in the woods. We all are. Even the captain. The only difference is, he likes it that way.
Mal: No. No, the difference is, the woods are the only place I can see a clear path.
Wash: You are psychotic.
Mal: No, but you should have seen his face... Oh... I'm a bad man.
Zoe: And Kaylee's really okay?
Mal: Yeah. Tell the truth, I didn't expect her to heal this quick. Doctor knows his trade, I'll give him that.
Mal: I believe that woman's planning to shoot me again.
Jayne: She meant to pay you, she'd'a haggled you down some.
Wash: Just a little effort to hide it would've been --
Zoe: Sir, we don't have to deal with her.
Mal: Yes, we do.
Jayne: Here's a little concept I been workin' on. Why don't we shoot her first?
Wash: It is her turn.
Mal: That doesn't get us what we need, either.
Zoe: There's moons on this boat we ain't seen. We could try our luck --
Mal: Our luck? You notice anything particular about our luck these past few days? Any kind of pattern? You depend on luck, you end up on the drift -- no fuel, no prospects... beggin' for Alliance make-work. And towed out to the scrap belt. That ain't us. Not ever. Patience has got the money to pay, and she will, one way or another. There's obstacles in our path, and we're gonna deal with them. One by one. We'll get through this. We will.
Jayne: Testing. Testing, Captain, can you hear me?
Mal: I'm standing right here.
Jayne: You're coming through good and loud.
Mal: 'Cause I'm standing right here.
Zoe: Don't think it's a good spot, sir. She still has the advantage over us.
Mal: Everyone always does. That's what makes us special.
Wash: You should think about asking the captain to drop you somewhere else. Whitefall ain't exactly civilization in the strictest sense.
Simon: You don't have to worry about me.
Wash: Zoe's out on a deal, I always worry. So... it's not out of my way --
Mal: Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid. Go run your little world.
Mal: I want you to get in your shuttle. Get the civilians, be ready to go.
Inara: We can't just leave you here.
Mal: Thought that was the plan.
Inara: Mal, don't do this --
Mal: We get boarded, you take off, head for town. We might be able to stop them from following.
Inara: They'll kill you.
Mal: Inara. Go.
Mal: We're good, people. We're out of the woods.
Zoe: Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off.
Wash: Work, work, work...
Book: Is this what life is, out here?
Inara: Sometimes.
Book: I've been out of the abbey two days, I've beaten a lawman senseless, I've fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I'm not even sure if I think he was wrong.
Inara: Shepherd...
Book: I believe I just... I think I'm on the wrong ship.
Inara: Maybe. Or maybe you're exactly where you ought to be.
Simon: The shot I gave you will help you sleep.
River: I slept for so long...
Simon: Just a little while. Then we'll find a place. We'll find a safe place.
River: I didn't think you'd come for me.
Simon: Well, you're a dummy.
Mal: How come you didn't turn on me, Jayne?
Jayne: Money wasn't good enough.
Mal: What happens when it is?
Jayne: Well... that'll be an interesting day.
Mal: Imagine it will.
Simon: So, where do you plan on dumping us?
Mal: There's places you might be safe. You want the truth, though, you're probably safer on the move. And we never stop moving.
Simon: I'm confused. No wait, I -- I think maybe you're confused.
Mal: It may have become apparent to you that the ship could use a medic. You ain't weak. I don't know how bright you are, top three percent, but you ain't weak and that's not nothing. You live by my rule, you keep your sister from doing anything crazy, you could maybe find a place here. 'Til you find a better.
Simon: I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can... How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
Mal: You don't know me, son. So let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
Simon: Are you always this sentimental?
Mal: Had a good day.
Simon: You had the Alliance on you, criminals and savages... half the people on the ship have been shot or wounded including yourself, and you're harboring known fugitives.
Mal: We're still flying.
Simon: That's not much.
Mal: It's enough.
